Carry On
by Blake Kinsey
Summary: Dean helps his girl through a hard time. Fluffy, angsty. Based on the song Carry On by Fun.


I opened my eyes to a pitch black room. Rolling over, I found the other side of the bed was cold. Annie must've woken up. I sat up and looked around at the familiar room, but it wasn't the usual motel.

The previous day came flooding back. The hunt. Annie's family. Her mother, her sisters. Annie's brother, dead in her arms.

Bobby's. We were at Bobby's.

Then I heard a crying, soft and muffled, coming through the door. The noise must have been what had woken me up. I left my room and wandered downstairs to the living room. Leaning against the doorframe, the sobs got louder. I knocked softly at the wall, but she didn't respond. Her cries cut off for a moment, then started again.

I entered warily. Across the room, sitting on the window bench, was Annie. There my girlfriend sat, with a bottle of wine, head between the curtains.

She ignored me, gazing drunkenly out the window at the stars littering the night sky. Tears ran down her face. I felt a stab deep in my chest. My beautiful, happy, fun-loving Annie was crying and drinking alone. Her heart, so full of life and color was muted, cold.

" _Damn you,_ " She whimpered, hugging the bottle and rocking slightly.

"Annie?" I whispered, not knowing if she knew I was there.

"We aren't," she slurred, louder. The tears were thick in her voice, and I felt that stab again.

"We aren't what, sweetheart?" She finally turned her head, red eyes meeting mine and moonlight lighting her pale features.

"We aren't shining stars," Annie sobbed.

I felt the telltale prickling behind my eyes and nodded, moving an empty bottle of scotch to sit next to her.

"I know, babe." I assured her, knowing any rebuttal I was thinking would only make it worse. She leaned against my side, quickly drifting into a drunken sleep. I kissed her head, wishing that I could help with what she was feeling inside. "I never said we are."

I've done some bad things, felt some bad things. But I've never been in the kind of pain I saw in her eyes. I've never been through hell like that. You can never go back from something like that. Never look back at those memories with anything but sorrow. Four people, your whole family, wiped out by the monsters you had left home to hunt. The things you were trying to save them from.

I couldn't even imagine.

* * *

The next morning I woke up with Annie out of sight. The smell of bacon wafted from the kitchen. I stood and followed my nose through the house. She was at the stove, flipping pancakes and humming a melody I often heard when she was upset.

"Good morning, hun," Annie said with forced cheerfulness. "How did you sleep?"

I blinked in shock at the woman in front of me. Last night she was a wreck. She was so lost and so alone.

"Annie," I started, heart sinking like a stone at the distant look in her eyes. "You should be in bed. You had a lot to drink last night."

She looked sharply at me, but rolled her eyes quickly. "Advil and coffee," Annie laughed, gesturing at her mug. "Miracle workers."

I just stared, scared out of my mind. Worried for her.

"So I was thinking…" She began, suddenly cautious, turning away from my eyes.

"What, babe? Anything you want," I promised, knowing that if I could do anything, I would without a second thought.

"We should go see Sam." At my surprised look, Annie hurried on. "It's just that we haven't seen him since he left for Stanford, and I couldn't find any cases, and I know you're still upset at him, but you know I still call him when I can. Maybe we could go and surprise him. If we start after breakfast, we can be there by tomorrow morning," she rambled.

My mouth dropped open. Of all the things I imagined her asking, this wasn't one of them. Of course I knew that she called him, texted him daily. Annie forgave him for leaving. For leaving us.

But she knew how much it had hurt me. She knew the second he walked out that door by the look in my eyes. And then she had run after him. Later Annie told me that she told Sam he couldn't use college as an excuse to stop being her best friend. Her forgiveness and understanding were one of the many reasons I loved her. Sometimes it was hard to see why, though.

"It's been _two years_ , Annie," I argued halfheartedly. I knew I would cave the second she looked me in the eyes again. For now, though, she focused on her cooking.

"Exactly," she reasoned. "It's been two years since you've seen your brother."

"He hasn't talked to me since he left, I doubt he wants to see me."

" _Bullshit_ , Dean! You know he won't try unless he knows you would forgive him," she finally met my eyes, and I saw a spark with her anger.

Slowly I walked towards my girl, bringing my arms around her waist. "Maybe we should take a break, let things cool off," I suggested softly.

Annie relaxed into my embrace and sighed. "I can't, Dean. I need to keep moving. I know running from your past is never a good idea, but right now all I can hope for is that my footsteps drown out the sad parts. And all I want right now is to see my family again, but I can't, and I love you, but Sam is like a brother to me and I really want to see him." By the end she was shaking, and I rubbed her back soothingly.

"Shh, shh. Okay, sweetheart. Okay. We can go see Sammy," I relented.

"Really?" She pulled away, eyes glassy.

"Yeah," I nodded. "But let's wait a day. He probably has classes tomorrow anyways, Saturday would be better for everyone. Okay?"

A smile lit her face, reaching her eyes in a way that filled my heart. Maybe she would be okay.

* * *

"Now tell me again why we're leaving Annie home alone?" Bobby asked from the passenger seat.

I sighed for the thousandth time tonight. "She's finally asleep, Bobby. I don't want you or your snoring waking her up. Especially if we're gonna drive to Stanford in the morning."

"And why are we going so far away?"

"Cause I don't think there's a bar closer to home you haven't been banned from," I laughed, only half-joking. "Besides, Rufus and a couple other hunters are gonna be there. We can hustle their drunk asses."

At that, Bobby chuckled. "It ain't hustling if it ain't hard, boy." He stayed silent for the rest of the drive, only speaking when I stopped the car.

"You sure this is the place?" he asked, looking for Rufus' car.

"Yeah, he said the bar off 75 we went to after we killed a rougarou. This is the place." I got out and walked into the musty room, heading straight for the bar.

A cute little blond took my order, flirting a little. She was exactly the kind of girl I went for before Annie, but now I didn't give her a second glance. When she left to tend to other patrons I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Rufus flanked by three guys in their twenties, obviously hunters, all tall, big and dark haired.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, Rufus," Bobby said happily, coming to stand next to me.

"Oh, you too, Singer," Rufus laughed. When he caught me eying the men behind him, he said, "Dean, this is Barry, Simon and Theo. They met up with us after that rougarou hunt, remember?"

I vaguely remembered the names, but honestly I barely remembered that night at all other than the wicked hangover I had the next morning. But by the looks on the guys' faces, they remembered me.

" _Right_ , right," I muttered, betting it would be better if I faked it. "How have y'all been?"

Barry laughed, and Simon answered. "As well as you can expect."

At that, a pause settled over us, and Rufus cleared his throat. "How about we go sit and catch up?"

Before anyone could answer, Bobby and Rufus started walking to the most secluded table in the place, leaving the four of us to follow. I took a seat next to Bobby, and Theo sat on my other side. Once the drinks started flowing, so did the conversation. An hour or so went by with us telling old war stories, successful hunts that we'd been on.

"So how's that Annie of yours, Dean-o?" Rufus interrupted Theo's god-awful retelling of a salt and burn. "I thought you two were joined at the hip from what Bobby told me."

I smiled wide at the thought of her, but it faded just as quickly. "She's back at Bobby's."

"You two married yet?" Rufus joked, my fallen face unnoticed.

"No," Bobby slapped my back. "He's just been carrying the damn ring around for _months_."

I turned away, embarrassed by the other's laughs. The topic moved from me, to my relief, and onto the rest of Theo's story.

But then the point came where we had had a little too much to drink, and Bobby asked about Simon's wife. By the stricken look on his face, you could tell what was about to come.

"Demons got her last year in Texas," he choked, looking down at his drink.

Bobby's face contorted in guilt. "I'm sorry 'bout that, kid. She was good people."

Simon smiled sadly. "Hunters don't get tenures. Theo lost his girl a few years back and Barry lost his parents before that. Tomorrow is never a guarantee."

"It's why I left Marie," Barry nodded. "This line of work don't go well with people you care about. If you really love 'em, you gotta protect 'em."

With a shake of my head I chuckled humorlessly. "I tried that a couple years back. Annie just kept hunting. Realized at least I could protect her when she was next to me after my brother told me she was in a hospital."

"You're lucky then," Barry said. "I wouldn't let her outta my sight if I were you." At that, Bobby gave me a pointed look, one that Rufus caught immediately.

"Why ain't she here, kid?" Rufus coaxed.

"Yesterday we went to visit her family when a bunch of demons attacked. Killed her parents and siblings." I downed the last of my beer, waving at the bartender for more. "That's the life. Death doesn't spare anybody, not our wives, not our parents, hell, our _neighbors_ die 'cause of the stuff we bring home." Another silence fell over the group, but this one was somber and unfixable. Bobby patted Rufus' shoulder and stood, leaving without another word. I pulled a couple twenties out of my pocket and nodded my goodbyes before following him out.

* * *

I woke to Annie's voice calling my name. My eyes shot open. I barely remembered getting home from the bar and crashing into bed.

"Baby?" Annie whispered.

I looked down to meet her worried eyes. "Hey."

"It seemed like you were having a bad dream," she explained.

Lifting my eyes up to the ceiling I lied. "Nah."

" _Dean_ ," She said more sharply now. "What happened last night? You smell like booze."

"Bobby and I went drinking with Rufus and a couple others."

"And?"

"And we all reminisced about how much we've lost to the life," I stated plainly.

"Oh," she replied quietly, regret instantly flooding me.

"All I could think about was how unfair it is. I may not be the best person, but I thought I'd given up enough. Maybe I could cheat it. I've been cheated on so many times. I can't lose you."

Annie stayed quiet, tracing her fingers lightly across my chest, waiting for me to continue.

"And now you're here. And I thought that maybe you were here to keep the bad stuff away. You're such a good person, you don't deserve shit like this," I choked, closing my eyes against the threatening tears.

I felt Annie kiss me softly and I opened my eyes. She kept my gaze focused solely on her while she spoke. "I love you."

I opened my mouth to reply, but she cut me off. "Sometimes bad shit happens to good people, but only you are amazing enough to carry on with that weight on your shoulders. It's a burden no one should carry alone, and the fact that you aren't the ghost your past has become inspires me so much."

I smiled and pulled her down to kiss her again, more passionately now. She knew just what to say, even when I couldn't say anything to comfort her yesterday. She lost her family _yesterday_ and pulled herself together, and she's still laying here saying how _I_ inspire her.

After, I laid with my arms wrapped tightly around her while she rested against my side.

"You're wrong, you know," I told her. By the way she jumped slightly I knew she had been in deep thought.

"What?" She sounded so confused.

"We are shining stars. Invincible."

Annie kissed my chest and I felt her smile. "We are who we are."

I grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at me. "Even on our darkest days, _you_ are my sun. You help me find my way home, every time."


End file.
